"We don't have the right to dream it"

Wow. Today was a long day! As usual.. I did not sleep well last night. I'm turning into an insomniac (Thanks mom, I blame that one on you). I woke up with chocolate smeared on my face; apparently I lethargically crave sweets. Okay let's be real, I always crave sweets. But walla himmkum (don't worry pl. - arabic), I have been swimming lots since the pool opened!

We started the day by having class by the pool (rough life, I know). A classmate told us the story why her host mom, a teacher at a local Arab High School, does not wear a hijab (head covering). She explained how she wanted to, and even tried it for a couple weeks against her husband's will. Contrary to the stereotype, it was her husband who explained to her how much he hates the idea of a hijab- how in his mind, it's sexist, ugly, and unnecessary. Because this head covering was now causing her martial problems, she decided to stop wearing it. When she told the principal of the school that she was going to stop wearing it, the principal told her she couldn't. This action would send a controversial, confusing messaged to the students. It would be okay if she chose not to wear it all, or wear it all the time, but nothing in between. The next school semester, the principal let her go without the hijab. But deep down, she still wants to wear it. Below is something to think about. (Of course this can apply to other religions too, like Jewish orthodoxy).

When I went to Baqa today, I was very much effected by what my host family was telling me. 

My host sister's cousin asked me why I am moving to Israel, and if I like it better than the States. I told her (without thinking about it), I love Israel because I don't feel like a minority here. It's the only place in the world I am part of a majority, and feel truly at home. After I said that, I felt almost guilty. Here I am, an American-Canadian, who can become a citizen of this country because I am at least 1/8 Jewish (the same fraction of Jewish descent that Hitler used to kill Jews in Nazi Germany) and be treated as an equal here. Yes of course I will be treated slightly differently, at least at the beginning, but most likely not in a negative way. I was sitting across a table from 3 Palestinians who have lived here for generations and are treated as second-class citizens. When I asked one my host sisters if she ever dreamed of a state with full equality she responded,"We don't have the right to dream, because it's never gonna happen." My heart sank. She continued on telling me how she went recruiting agency to help her find a job. The recruiter was Arab, but told her that if she wanted to find a job in Israel, in a mall as she desired, she would need to stop wearing her "jilbab" (long conservative jacket). She said the hijab was okay, but no one would hire her with a full Muslim outfit. She got so discouraged, she gave up the job search right away. 

Another girl at the table (one of their cousins) further continued on how the Palestinians are a minority everywhere. They are a minority in Israel, but also in the W. Bank, and in other Arab countries. In the W. Bank, where the Palestinians there do not have Israeli citizenship, they look at the Israeli-Arabs differently. I was shocked when the cousin told me Arabs there will even speak to them in Hebrew, even while wearing their head coverings. 

I completely empathize with them, I first-hand know what it feels like to be a minority in a larger society. At the same time, I do consider myself a Zionist. I believe in a Jewish homeland. So what needs to be done to address this idea of second-class treatment? Is it okay? 

After this full politically charged conversation, they still invited me to their cousin's wedding on Saturday :).. and I can't wait!!  

P.O.F.N. (peace out for now) 

J 

Under Pressure

Only two weeks left on my program, which I know will fly by. 

It's been a year since I graduated from UW-Madison, and began my internship with the Madison Police Department. (Still can't believe I spent three months of my life raiding bars, going on drug busts, and riding in a cop car down State Street). If you asked me a year ago where I think I'd be today, I'd say looking for jobs in Washington DC. If someone were to tell me I'd be making Aliyah and establishing myself in Israel, I'd think he/she was crazy. These past several weeks have been incredibly stressful for me. It was/is hard to concentrate fully on my classes knowing that at the end of the program I will be homeless, and unemployed. Thankfully I found an awesome apartment in the center of Tel Aviv for the summer, and cannot wait to move in!

The job search has been ... no words. It's unbelievable how different the job market functions here. I've applied to a couple jobs already, and all have told me I'm applying way too early. They tell me to resend my CV 2 weeks max before I'll be able to begin working. It's hard for me not to have a secure plan for the next couple months, but life is much more in the moment here. 

Another stressor has been the fact that I've been studying (spoken) Arabic for the past 5 months (past 5 years if you include written Arabic), instead of Hebrew. I live in Israel, and speak at a basic level. Thankfully, I find Hebrew much easier to learn than Arabic. I have already picked up a lot considering I only had 2 weeks of formal instruction, which took place over two years ago.

Although I may sound like a complete stressball, I'm surprisingly calm :). Thankfully the pool opened on the Kibbutz, and it is phenoms (Definitely the hidden gem of Barkai). I have made the most amazing friends since I've been here, and am ecstatic that 4/7 people on my program are staying for at least the next couple months. 

I also have a lot to look forward to in the next couple weeks; I have several good friends coming to visit, and my parents just booked their trip to come see me. It's weird knowing that I won't be going back to FL before I "start my life" here. I'm at the point where I don't know what to call home anymore. I was born in Canada, but lived in California until HS, but now my family lives in FL. 

It's crazy to think that in less than three weeks I will be living in TEL AVIV. I guess I won't be taking daily walks by cows, tractors, and haystacks.

I am so thankful for the experiences I've had, and incredible people I've met these past several months. What's ahead... I guess ..נראה

J

Agree to Disagree

Skyping a friend from home, and then taking a second to realize where I am. While she was speaking to me from her bedroom in NY, I was speaking to her from my classroom on the Kibbutz, which happens to be a bomb shelter. Twice today sirens went off, once in the morning, and once again in the evening. We were warned in advance that this week there will be national emergency drills for the next couple of days.  The other day I went swimming on a Kibbutz 10 minutes from mine, and noticed something a bit odd about the childrens' swing structure. It was made out of an old missile. Playing "Call of Duty" (video game) shooting virtual weapons, and then seeing the same weapon from the game in front of me, knowing that this one had the actual ability to kill. Being told that Israeli's won't read a resume if it's longer than one page, "we just don't have time for that. there is always a war going on." A reality that the citizens of this country live in, and that I will soon be a part of.

As my program, Intensive Arabic Semester, is down to the final couple weeks, I am thankful for the invaluable cultural experiences this program has allowed me to partake in. To think I came here to Wadi Ara (a region an hour north of Tel Aviv) 4 months ago, and can now speak hours on end in Arabic, is beyond gratifying. I have been surrounded by the same group of people for the past several months, participating in a program run by an open-minded organization, Givat Haviva  (winner of the UNESCO prize for peace education). I went to Tel Aviv a couple days ago for a meeting for "Olim Chadashim" (new immigrants to Israel). I was in utter shock from the reaction I got when I told the group I was studying Arabic. One girl asked me "if the Arabs are really short." and then continued on to ask me "so they must be talking about Syria right? I'm sure that's all they're talking about right now; their loyalty to Syria." When I told the advisor of the program that I am studying Arabic, she looked at me in disgust, and asked me why. She then told me I should omit from my resume where I live. 

After returning from Tel Aviv, a city with virtually no Arabs, I have realized how just an hour south from my home, people's mindsets are completely different. How could I even go about explaining what I have learned the past several months? I can't. It's something you have to experience for yourself. 

In the meantime, I'm taking advantage of every day I have left here on Kibbutz Barkai. Soon I will be living in the crazy city of Tel Aviv, looking for a job, and studying Hebrew! I still plan to continue my Arabic studies as well. 

Today I am also thankful for the American soldiers who have lost their lives fighting for America. #MemorialDay

As you may know, since my last blog post, I am in the process of becoming an Israeli citizen. This decision came after much thought, and weeks of weighing the pros and cons. Of course moving to a new country, alone, is not easy. I know I will have many challenges ahead of me, but I am ready to take them head-on. I go through phases of being excited, and others of feeling nervous. I have been extremely thankful for the support of my parents, family, and friends since I made the final decision. When I tell anyone from the states I am making Aliyah, they all seem happy for me, and say Congrats. I seem to get a mixed response from Israelis. Many ask me why I would want to live here instead of America, and others think I'm crazy. It is hard to explain to an Israeli the large cultural differences between the States and here. No country is perfect, but if I left now, I know would regret it.

I understand that my life now is a "bubble" in a way. I live on a Kibbutz, in the middle of Wadi Ara, with an amazing group of people that I have grown very close to. I study Arabic, and have it pretty easy. I know when I choose to establish myself here, it won't always be like this.

On Wednesday, I got the opportunity to travel with a 10th grade class from Baqa-Al Gharbiyye (an Arab city 10 min from the Kibbutz) to a High school in Tel Aviv (with Jewish students). Both classes have been reading the same novel, "A time to Kill" for the past several months, in their respective English classes. When I found out this novel was about rape, and murder, I was surprised. For some reason, I did not think an Arab school would teach such controversial topics. This program, called "Book Club" was taking place for the first time. It is a program funded through Harvard, which payed for the books and coordinator. It was interesting to watch the Arab students interact with the Israelis. They sat divided on separate sides before the discussion began.  Perhaps this same thing would have happened if any two High school classes were to meet. I am not sure. Some interesting cultural difference emerged. The hosting school had provided snacks for all of the students. The staff of the Jewish school did not understand why the Arab students would not eat any. Someone from my program explained how the Arab students must be offered the food, they won't just dig in. The staff began dividing the food on plates and serving it. The classes were divided into mixed groups, where they had to answer questions about the novel. It was nice watching the Arab students, and Jewish students exchange ideas and opinions. They all seemed to enjoy it. On the bus ride back, some of the Arab girls were showing me and my roommate pictures on their phones. (They love to show us their iphone pictures. Yes, all of them have iphones.) We were quite concerned with one of the pictures we saw. 

"You know you're in love when that person keeps hurting you but you keep forgiving them and hoping they will change." 

Both of us reacted by saying "mish hiloo, mish sahih!" (not nice, not right). They young girls (14-15) all yelled back "noo, hiloo!" They didn't see a problem with this message. When we told the other students on our program, from America, Australia, and England, they agreed this message was disturbing and could promote domestic/emotional abuse. We further asked one of our instructors who teaches Arabic, and she actually had the same reaction "hiloo"(nice). We determined this is part of the Arab culture in this area. The girls saw this message as a positive one. Who were we to tell them otherwise. When I met with my host family in Baqa (the same city) on Thursday, I was relieved to hear  the response of my host sister (also in 10th grade) on this same picture. She reacted quite differently. She told me this message was backwards, and not right. We ended up having many deep, controversial conversations. We talked about what her expectations were of hosting an American student. Her and her family had no idea I was Jewish, all they knew is that I would be a foreigner. She told me she thought I would show up the first day in short shorts and an inappropriate outfit, like she sees on American TV. She was pleasantly surprised when I showed up dressed more conservatively. I asked her why she wanted to host an American student. Her response blew me away. She said she didn't care so much about learning English from me, but she wanted to show me, and American, that not all Muslims are the same. She wanted me to see that her family is just like many other families. They are 4 kids, and two loving parents. I have grown to see many more similarities than differences since I have started spending time with them. She said she's also learned a lot from me. She was surprised when I said I keep kosher, yet am still interested in learning about her culture. Her dad ended up joining in on the conversation. He was very pleased that we were talking about such political topics. (I was previously worried to bring these up with her, and especially her parents). What her dad had to tell me, was very saddening, but honest. We spoke in Arabic, and it was amazing to be able to have this conversation in his native language. He told me how his family is from this land (Israel) from many generations back. He gets angered that he has to be severely questioned in security checks at the airport like he's a terrorist. His daughters as well. He has been a bus driver for 10 years, yet makes the same salary as a Jewish bus driver who has only been working for one. (Unequal pay). He also explained to me how he thinks it's unjust that Israeli-Arabs must learn Hebrew in school, yet the Jews do not learn Arabic. The daughter too explained how in public school, she is only taught about the history of Israel and the Jewish people. If anything is mentioned about Arabs, it seems to be negative. (Her whole HS is Arab, yet she goes to a public school in Israel). Mai (my host sister) explained to me how she is ISRAELI. She is a citizen of Israel, and likes her life here. She sees what is going on in Syria, and surrounding Arab States, and is thankful to be here. It is true that Arab-Israelis here have much better lives than they might in the surrounding countries, but they still do not have equal rights in many parts of society here. We talked for about an hour. The father was right when he said many Americans think all Arabs are terrorists. I have heard this many times before, even from educated individuals; it is not right, and needs to stop. After this conversation we had a pretty American meal! (Coke, corn on the cob, chips, and strawberry/banana milkshakes) 

Little Deebe. Such a cutie

Oh.. and I made Dolma (grape leaves with rice) from scratch the other day. Was awesome. 

Peace out,

J 

An amazing day in Nazareth

Wow. Today was amazing. At 3 pm me and a couple classmates headed to Nazareth with one of our Arabic teachers. Since the start of the program, we have had the opportunity to study with a couple different groups of students. We used to study Arabic with a group of "Shabbab" (Arabic for youth) who were training for the Israeli army. We also studied with people in their 20s who were merely interested in learning Arabic. Now, every Wednesday, we study with a group of 10 adults who are 30-65. I've noticed that any Israeli above the age of 21/22 (post-army) who chooses to study Arabic, does so for a similar reason; they all have a glimpse of hope that Israel will someday be in a more peaceful situation than it is today. I used the word "glimpse," because many are doubtful.  Especially in these times, I've noticed many people having a sense of lost hope in ever reaching a peace agreement. Coming from America, it's hard to fathom, there are two nations living here. Both of these nations have religious influences on their politics, beliefs, and daily lives.
Back to today.. we met our classmates in Nazareth. We are such a diverse group.. I love it! One woman is a former member of Kinesset (Israeli Parliament), one a pediatrician, one a manager of Cafe Cafe (an Israel Cafe/food chain), and many are retired. Our first stop was a Church. A class full of Jews studying Arabic, visiting a church.. if I haven't made it clear how special of a country Israel is.. idk what more to say.

Apparently in China, mother Mary and Baby Jesus are Chinese

After the visit to the Church, we went to an incredible organization for Arabic-speaking children  with Diabetes. The founder of the organization is only 26, and was diagnosed with Diabetes when he was 19. There are currently over 180 children from around Israel who participate (both Christians and Muslims. Christian Arabs are a small minority in Israel). There still exists a stereotype in the Arab culture that being "sick" with anything is shameful. Many children who suffer from diabetes are too embarrassed to admit it to anyone outside their direct family, and keep it a secret. Such a large part of the Arab culture is being welcoming, and feeding your guests several cakes and other desserts. These children accept the offer, because they don't want to explain why they can't have them. This organization works at decreasing the stigma of being diabetic, and using insulin. These children are taught to be brave, and not fear being open with others about their health conditions.

My classmates, and the volunteers at the organization, introduced ourselves (in Arabic of course), and answered this question. This intro took almost 2 hours.. 

Afterwards, at 9 pm, we stopped at a local Falafel place, and stuffed our faces.. Middle Eastern style. We even went next door and got some Kinaffe (an Arabic dessert which has melted cheese in the middle..yum!). We got back to the Kibbutz at around 10. It still surprises me how much I learn everyday on this program!

Mix of Emotions

It has been over a month since my last blog entry. When I first started my program, everything from cuisine, to the Kibbutz experience, was new and exciting to me. As I approach my 4th month in Israel, most things that were strange or foreign to me have become normal. I feel that I have acculturated even more than when I was abroad two years ago. Commemorating Yom Hashoa (Holocaust remembrance day) and Yom Hazikaron (Remembering the soldiers who lost their lives in Israel) has a much more eerie feeling than in the Sates. Yom Hashoa has always affected me because my Zady (Yiddish for grandfather) was a Holocaust survivor in one of the most horrific concentration camps (Auschwitz). The main difference between Yom Hashoa in Israel, and the rest of the world, is the loud siren that sweeps across the entire nation. Everything stops. Traffic goes to a halt, and everything falls silent. I can't help but get emotional whenever I hear it. Yom Hazikaron had a much deeper effect on me this time than ever before. While living on the Kibbutz, I have become good friends with soldiers from Israel, and also from abroad. Knowing what they go through to defend this country, some without a choice, has been a lot for me to handle. When the siren went off for Yom Hazikaron, I couldn't help but cry thinking about them and what they do every day and how thankful I am they're still alive. 

If you could imagine, there is almost a non existent time gap between commemorating those who have lost their lives, and celebrating the independence of Israel. The holiday's merely blend. 

For Yom Haatzmaut (Israel Independence day) I decided to stay on the Kibbutz. It was a huge celebration with fireworks, dancing, cake, etc. 

It's hard to believe that Israel is only 65 years old. Such a young country, with so much conflict surrounding it. Especially as an Arabic student, I am constantly exposed to many narratives. The day after the Israelis/Jews from around the world celebrate Israel's Independence, the Arabs rename the holiday "The Nakba" directly translating to "The catastrophe." Under Israeli school systems, they are legally not allowed to discuss the existence of "The Nakba." The conflict in this area dominates in all aspects of life here. Whether it be stereotypes learned from a young age, or actual violence, it is imminent. Israel is an extremely young nation, and I can only hope that peace efforts will have more of an effect in the future. After all, neither the Arabs or the Israelis will be disappearing. They live here "side by side," and must be able to do so in a non-violent way. I say this as their was yet another rocket attack into Southern Israel today. I think it's sad that no one even mentions it. The only reason I know is from my Twitter account. As you can tell, these past couple weeks have been a mix of emotions for me. Every week I learn a new layer of the complex situation bearing upon this part of the world. At the same time, I try to see all sides from a neutral standpoint. I have two months left on this program, and I can't wait to further improve my language skills in both Hebrew and Arabic. I am really enjoying my time here, but of course miss my friends and family!! (Shout out to Papa Black for being awesome, and you too Mama Black :). and duh madi. and you too if your'e reading this bro). (and voj. I'd feel like you'd read this). 

J

StandStill

This past week and a half has felt like a standstill. I am starting to realize how intense it is learning another language, several hours a day, almost every day! My brain needs a break. Thankfully, Passover break is coming up soon. Since my last blog entry, there was a giant Purim party at my Kibbutz. My Kibbutz is known as "the cemetery." So.. I was proud when we had the biggest party in the neighborhood! The music was almost all American, there was a smoke machine, and an open-bar. Only in Israel does a party take place in the dining hall. Every other person was chain-smoking cigarettes, in a place where they serve meals during the day. I couldn't imagine this flying in America! Anyways, it was a great party.

Me and my friend Al :)

A couple days later we took a field trip to a place called "Ein Hod." To Israelis, this city is known for its abundance of art. To many Arabs, it is known as a place where Israelis exiled their families during the 1948 war for Israel's independence. The narratives between the Israelis and the Israeli Arabs / Palestinians are completely different. I try my best to take a non-bias approach when learning both narratives. We enjoyed a meal at a fancy Arab-owned restaurant. We ate a disgusting amount of food, as usual.


Yesterday we visited the Green line, separating Israel from the West Bank (controlled by the Palestinian Authority). It was interesting to see the license plates in the W. Bank compared to in Israel. They are different colors. Despite to common belief, the Green line is not a physical barrier. In fact, you cannot even distinguish between the W. Bank and Israel. Below is a picture of my me and my classmates standing in both Israel and the W. Bank. 


Technically, citizens of the W. Bank are not allowed to enter Israel. There is almost no enforcement of this policy though in the area we were in. (We were in an area known as Bartaa). I was pretty surprised at the Graffiti I saw outside a local Arab school. 

The blue writing says "Hamas." Although Hamas is a publicly recognized terrorist organization, many Arab-Israelis/Palestinians support them.

I am starting to realize even more how difficult the situation is between the Palestinians and the Israelis. The Israelis and the Palestinians / Israeli-Arabs have completely a completely different culture, language, and narrative of the 1948 war. Like many others, I am sadly losing hope that there will be a peaceful solution in the near future.